all i need is paper and a pen..

In the midst of a cruel world
of empty lies, false witnesses, broken promises
a massive shift in the equilibrium
where everyone is a victim of his hands

A friendly smile, initiating interest
excuses and a multitude of coincidences
not knowing that the web is being spewn
those who come first, loses.

A week or less, devoted to one;
a week or less, devoted to another.
Losing interest as if sygmoidal
spawn of poison, reserved to eternal

Unto the hills and valleys of deception
devastated words of silence and still
Acting like gods and playing with pawns
serving time until revelation dawns

Cheers to the demons that control your being
your soul was stolen without you knowing
Making all of them shed tears for you
hideous monster, i have pity for all you do

May the sleeping evil in you awake
come and take you to the fire of the stake
blood and heartbreak, pity and shame
disgraceful stranger, i’ll be at your wake

Heresy and blasphemy, and the smell of coffee on my fingers
Dried lips moist by a tear that lingers
flirting with the truth and just thinking–
interesting…yet at the same time frightening

Potential difference overcomed by laughter
as last night, connections and sparks flew
Where have I seen you, stranger?
by a matter of circumstances I never knew

Stuck in a corner, just waiting and waiting
Darkness emanated and the silence seeping in
A shadow at first, relentlessly stalking
And then a familiar face, a smile, and three words spoken

The night stretched on for what seemed like hours
yet gleam in the eyes, signed, sealed and delivered
Push the little button and play with the knobs
Feed the fire that lights up on chemistry

A string of events, a series of incidents
Patterns in random, abstract designs
We were like puppets though unknowingly willing
–lost in wonder, dazed and expecting

Helical chain of emotions fighting to be free
trying to hold on to the warmth of memory
anticipating and wishing to cure the boredom
Will I see you again, Stranger of fathom?

broken chains, clasps of intricate details
another weary space, dangerous spirits
moving, driving away to the endless horizon
give me freedom, I can’t seem to understand

Dragging, unfolding, frozen and empty
redemption, please save me from myself
stirring clear of the web, got caught up
give me freedom, I can’t seem to understand

Black, brown, white and gray lines
softly speak, whisper me the answers
seeping in to the valleys and hills of you
careful not to lose my everything

Losing myself in the process, waiting
walking slowly, love to lose control
crawling, visions of me bleeding
give me freedom, I can’t seem to understand

seven missed calls and an empty room
the "home" that had once been called
now reduced to the confines of a house
did you purposely leave me?
I dare not know…
desolate i’ve been, and thought I was
until I felt this emptiness
Quiet nights and still movement
without your laughter,
without your smile,
without your constant bickering and harsh words
should I take comfort in sleep?
it would deem useless unless it’s eternal
should i pack my bags and leave?
I probably should have, a long time ago.
Never have you been this close to me
and yet so distant
better children than adults
we were the best of friends.
is it because you chose to be with him?
it’s true then, I am no competition.
I love him, and I love you
But he loves you, always have.
And i never gave you enough satisfaction
maybe five minutes of your time would be enough
though on second thought, it might be worthless
no one knows where you are now
whether or not you are miles or universes away
I ache to see you
you are the sole purpose why I am here
if it were not, if it had not been so,
i never would have and never would have even considered it.
seven missed calls and an empty room
time passes by so painfully slow…

…Flattened doughnut.

Dreams hanging on a clothespin.

Glitters and dragonflies.

Two empty bottles and one half full.

…An unknown creaking sound in an empty road.

two  airplanes flashing their light through the empty sky.

sweat streaming through a bare neck

shocked eyes still dilated by your words

…twenty-four hours from when it happened

the betrayal had never been expected

moans and wet kisses on every part of the body

now taunting your conscience and memory

…Paranoia chasing after your sanity

by every remembrance of the majestic rendezvous

stranger in a shining armor she was

but underneath, homunculus of the seventh sin.

…moving shadows, soft whispers, eyes suddenly shuttered close

marked words written in blood on a yellow-brick wall

innocently saying, over and over–

"Sa isang motel sa Recto…"

…Oh how I wish to smother you in your weaknesses

have you a place in the ninth pit of hell

drowning in your smell, your warmth, your consciousness

a perfect portrait now burnt to ashes

…A simple note from the luminous light

A slide of the pen and forty seconds

Euthanasia or so, it may be called

salvation from the shame and the torture

…No it will never happen again

Never will I return to the misleading darkness

Fear and terror, pain and all the hurt

induced just by the thought of the past

…Fascia slit wide open

exposing the vessel of life

blood contaminated by lust

forever running through your veins.

…What’s left of the frozen hemolymph now?

Pathetic shade of crimson now turned to filthy mud

madness and tears flood from those pitiful eyes

insomnia of the disturbed soul, never seeking peace

…Glitters and dragonflies

and three empty bottles–

Fool me once, shame on you;

Fool me twice, shame on me.

dead at heart
can’t seem to get to you
what i do could never be enough
substitution
prostitution
all i am’s a piece of toy
meant to be played with
who was i to think
i could ever be a part of you
when she’s everything better
see the tears falling down
i am stuck in this illusion
will you walk me to the edge?
always in the background
time’s running out
im giving in to you…
the fire in my heart
the hollowness in my soul
the depth of my identity
sacrilege
it’s killing me
the wrath is getting to me
pushes me to the limit
all the way
pierce me with a sword
don’t utter a word
senescence, i’m losing myself
giving in to you…

last night i saw you
standing there in the shadows
pretending like you don’t see me
last night i saw you
laughing so coldly
pretending like I couldn’t hear
last night i saw you
coming close, following me
i begged you to stop
you forced yourself into me
pushing even further
until you’ve taken the whole of me
last night i saw you
and tonight, i see you again…
by the scars in my body
and my soul cursed to hell
i swear by the angry moon
i will exact my revenge
night after night
you will only see my face
and feel the pain you’ve inflicted
you will never see light again
i will deliver you to hell
this world is called fate.